Pride, Humility and Repentance Within Marriage

           “Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing. The central feature of pride is enmity-enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.’ It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of ‘my will and not thing be done.’ As Paul said, they ‘seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.’”
            Pride is evident in our society and is especially evident in our marriages. A huge factor in making a marriage successful and healthy is focusing on your spouse. Along with that is being willing to be humble enough to admit when you make mistakes and actively apologize when you offend or hurt the other person. It seems simple enough, but this can be a struggle. My Mom always had this saying: “It’s better to be kind, than right.” I think this applies to marriage in the sense that fighting over things that have no eternal significance can be harmful and it is better in some instances to bite your tongue and pick your battles. When something is a concern going to your spouse when you are calm and they are calm, and talking with one another in a respectful manner is key.
            My ex-husband and I struggled with this. We were so focused on how we felt as individuals and less about one another. We got to a point where we didn’t talk about things at all because nobody was willing to change their opinion or perspective. We get along so much better now as friends and co-parents to our two boys, and a lot of that has to do with the respect we show, and our common interest in the children. There have been times when we disagree, but I try to apologize right away and we have a good co-parenting relationship because of that.
Source:
“Beware of Pride.” talk by President President Ezra T. Benson from the Ensign, May 1989.