I have a friend who was the youngest of 5 and very close to her family. She confided in her father and mother often and admired their council and wisdom. After she married her husband instead of talking with him, and making decisions as a couple, she would go to her parents to help her with marital problems, or any issues that they were having. She would then go back to her husband and give the report on what her parents felt that they should do. This caused a lot of friction within their marriage and they really weren't united as a couple. Luckily my good friend saw how this was harming her relationship with her husband and they made the decision that he would join the army. They were stationed far away from all family and they were forced to rely on one another, make new friends and be independent of their families. A beautiful thing happened, they became closer, they confided in one another instead of in family, and they made decisions together. When talking with my friend now years later, she said that them moving away from their families was the best thing for their marriage. They became closer and were truly united. I feel like all couples need to recognize that while family is important, once you marry you need to turn to each other to create your own family, own traditions and place reasonable boundaries with in-laws and family so that you can figure out how to be together as a couple. I wish that I had done a better job of this within my own marriage.
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